It's been quite a while since my last post. This is mostly due to the fact that most days are simply a repeat of all the days that have gone before, and I don't have anything new to report. But there have been some new developments lately.


The BIG news is that Ian is now completely "potty trained." That phrase seems a little odd to use with a 19-year old young man, but since he is really a three-year old in a man's body, it's appropriate. No more diapers! No more smearing! Woot! However, with this milestone comes some adjustments. We have changed our routine at night. No more food or drink after 8 p.m., and we must be vigilant to make sure he goes to the bathroom before he falls asleep (I have to wash his bedding most mornings even with this precaution), and we also need to stay up until he falls asleep. He usually is still quite chipper long after I am ready to crash and burn. After all, he's a healthy young man with lots of energy, while I'm a middle-aged woman who longs for her jammies and sleeeeeeeeeeeeep! So this is what we do: we put a baby gate at the top of the stairs so that Ian is contained upstairs, lock all the doors except his and ours, and let him ramble around while we read, watch T.V., or stare vacantly into the distance wishing Ian were tired. Ian loves this arrangement, and bounces around with great joy---sometimes he climbs into bed and watches T.V. with us for a bit, and we are always hopeful this means he is getting tired and ready for bed. Most of the time it's just a breather before he gets up again and starts his bouncing routine. Eventually he does get sleepy, and he either falls asleep in our bed and we move him to his own, or he wanders into his room and falls asleep. The average time he falls asleep is around 11-ish, but there have been nights it is closer to midnight.  Here is the kicker: at about 9 or so we give him a cocktail of sleep meds that would make you and me fall over like a ton of bricks and sleep for days. It barely affects Ian. The cocktail includes Lunesta, Unisom, Xanax, and some natural sleep aids. We call him the Rasputin of sleep meds. Remember the story of how difficult it was to kill Rasputin? It's just as difficult to get Ian to sleep!

As always, Ian is my touchstone for how I'm progressing on the spiritual path. Just when I think I'm getting pretty holy (lol!), Ian pushes one of my buttons and I'm river dancing with frustration and irritation. My big lesson with Ian is PATIENCE. I've changed how I pray about circumstances with Ian. I used to ask Jesus to change Ian's behaviors, and now I pray that MY heart will change so I can accept Ian just the way he is with serenity and peace. Isn't that the way it usually works on the spiritual path? WE need to change---not others.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."