Merry Christmas/ Changes/ I thought this blog was gone, and here it still is!

Oh my goodness! I thought I had deleted this blog a long time ago, but apparently I'm so computer-disabled that I didn't accomplish that goal! LOL! Perhaps it's for the best, as I seem to feel the need to reconnect with my thoughts and feelings about this whole adventure.

So much has happened since my last post. My son is currently living in what is called a "Waiver Home" with one other young adult who has Down's Syndrome. Ian was living in a home with three other roommates, but his Provider decided to basically kick him out and not serve him anymore. What a shock and letdown! But God is absolutely in control, and we found another Provider and found an apartment for him to live in that is about 10 minutes from where we live. I go to see Ian, play with him, give him his bath, and just hang out an average of every other day. SUCH a blessing! Knock on wood, but his destructive/aggressive/self-injurious behaviors, while not perfect, seem to be decreasing (I'm almost scared to type that! I don't want to borrow trouble!) His living situation is apparently going to change again soon to a three person arrangement, which is fine with us, as it saves money and is usually more stable. As long as my child is near me, and thriving and happy, I am content.

My husband has been experiencing some puzzling and troubling health issues. He had a scary incident with his heart, and was hospitalized, but it turns out that he has benign heart palpitations, that while incredibly bothersome (sometimes he has so many in a row, he is out of breath!), not lethal. He has also developed something called Meige Disorder which is basically constant contractions of the muscles in the face which makes it very difficult for him to speak, and often causes his eyes to clench shut. Botox is the treatment of choice, and while it was beneficial in the beginning, it is now less so, which is discouraging. Since he is a college professor, this has obviously made a huge impact on his work life. The school is being very supportive: allowing him to teach only one class per semester, and next semester, having him teach an online course, but if things don't improve, he will probably pursue Disability. It is very, very hard to watch your husband suffer like he is suffering. He is very stoic, and has a solid spiritual base, but it does get him down, and as a wife, I want to do SOMETHING, and there is nothing I can do but love him. Which I very much do.

I am a grandma now! I have a baby granddaughter who will be six months old right after Christmas. It is amazing how much I love this precious little girl! To watch my daughter blossom into such a loving and attentive mother is a blessing to watch. Her husband is a great dad too. I'm sure this little girl will have him totally wrapped around her little finger. I look forward to spending lots of spoiling time in the future. Hey, that's what grandmas are for, right?

Ian is still one of the lights of my life. I must say that having him live in a group home situation has lifted so much stress and anxiety off of our shoulders. I have discovered what sleeping through the night is again after 22 years! As hard as it was when we first put him in a home, we did it gradually, so it wasn't as much of a shock. At first he came home three days a week, and then two and then one day. When he moved closer, and my husband's health deteriorated, we started having him come one day a week for a few hours of spoiling, and when my husband has reached his limit (his health issues cause him to become exhausted quickly and easily), Ian goes back to his apartment. There have been some staffing issues---the pay for working with these challenging adults is way too low, so there is always lots of turnover. Our Kandace is still with him. She has been with him since he was about 8-years old, and he is now 23, so she has been our rock. She is his stability in the shifting world of caregivers. If I could, I would pay the people that work with my son MUCH more money---they deserve it. On one of Ian's rare meltdowns, he chased one of the caregivers around with a lamp, and tore up his roommates diapers---these folks deserve at least a living wage!

The love I feel for what will be forever my "little boy" is profound and unchanging. I am determined to make sure that he has as happy a life as possible, and that he is safe and healthy. It takes a lot of vigilance, TRUST, perseverance, and faith in God, but it is doable one day at a time.

I hope to post more blogs in the future, and take some pictures of my handsome son and his living situation. Merry Christmas to all of you dear people, and may the New Year fill you with blessings and joy.