An I Love Lucy episode

My husband said something funny yesterday. He does this occasionally *grin*, and what he said was a very accurate description of what it's like to take care of Ian. He said "It's like that chocolate assembly line episode on I Love Lucy." Yes indeed.

Here is a typical example: Ian wants breakfast. First, you have to race down the stairs ahead of him because he is apt to open the pantry (if it's unlocked), grab a bag of M & Ms and start stuffing handfuls in his mouth as you chase him around the kitchen. Once you wrestle the bag out of his hands, you go back to the pantry to get the much-more-appropriate-breakfast-item oatmeal. While you are doing this, Ian opens the refrigerator to get juice. You quickly put the oatmeal down to pour him a glass of juice--if you are not quick to do this, there is the very real possibility that he will dump the entire bottle of juice down the drain. This is a favorite activity. We cannot leave any containers of liquid out on the counter as the contents therein are destined to go down the drain in a split second if Ian has anything to say about it. Meanwhile, while you are pouring the juice, you keep a sharp eye on Ian as he bounces toward the oatmeal. Nothing would make him happier than to start strewing oatmeal around like confetti. We try to avoid that. Clean-up's a bitch. Sorry about the language. If I have managed to forestall an oatmeal party, I get out the milk (still keeping an eye on Ian and the oatmeal), and start assembling the oatmeal, milk and brown sugar concoction. Oh, digging great handfuls of brown sugar is also a favorite pastime, so I usually try to hold the sugar while pouring the milk into the bowl of oatmeal. Then I juggle all of this over to the microwave to nuke it. If I am smart, I try to keep Ian busy by getting his place mat and spoon. I am usually not smart at 6:00 in the morning. By this time he has probably noticed I failed to lock the pantry and is trying to sneak more M & Ms while I'm balancing a bowl of hot oatmeal, a gallon of milk and the container of brown sugar. He is usually successful and grins a multi-colored grin while dancing around the kitchen on a sugar high. Eventually I plonk the bowl down on the table and convince Ian that eating a wholesome bowl of oatmeal (albeit, highly sweetened with brown sugar) is a much better alternative to eating a whole bag of M & Ms. Hey, those M & Ms are MY drug of choice! I need those suckers!

So, imagine Lucy with her mouth stuffed with chocolate candies. Recall the expression on her face. That's John and me. Or perhaps you can envision Ian with his grinning mouth stuffed with M & Ms. That is probably a better image---then you can see me running around the kitchen trying to pry the bag out of his hands---funny stuff. Ha.